Yet More Humorous Sayings And Quotes

by allinspiration.com

Here is yet another collection of humorous sayings and quotes from various authors, celebrities, famous persons, and other sources compiled by allinspiration.com for you to read and enjoy.

“One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries”
– A.A. Milne

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
– Abraham Lincoln

“Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.”
– Aldous Huxley

“In God we trust; all others pay cash”
– American

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts, for support rather than illumination.”
– Andrew Lang

“The difficult is done at once, the impossible takes a little longer.”
– Anthony Trollope

“A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.”
– Arthur McBride Bloch

“You tell them, Stevie!”
– Barbra Lang Walker

“A flatterer never seems absurd: the flatter’d always takes his word.”
– Ben Franklin

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
– Ben Franklin

“Blessed is he that expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”
– Ben Franklin

“Creditors have better memories than debtors”
– Ben Franklin

“Epitaph on a scolding wife by her husband: Here my poor Bridget’s corpse doth lie, she is at rest — and so am I!”
– Ben Franklin

“Fond pride of dress is sure an empty curse; ere fancy you consult, consult your purse.”
– Ben Franklin

“Great talkers should be cropped for they have no need of ears.”
– Ben Franklin

“He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals”
– Ben Franklin

“He that would have a short Lent, let him borrow money to be repaid at Easter.”
– Ben Franklin

“How many observe Christ’s birthday, how few his precepts.”
– Ben Franklin

“I saw few die of hunger; of eating”
– Ben Franklin

“If you’d lose a troublesome visitor, lend him money.”
– Ben Franklin

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards”
– Ben Franklin

“Love your neighbor; yet don’t pull down your hedge”
– Ben Franklin

“Many complain of their memory, few of their judgment”
– Ben Franklin

“Many foxes grow grey but few grow good”
– Ben Franklin

“Mary’s mouth cost her nothing for she never opens it but at others’ expense.”
– Ben Franklin

“Never praise your cider or your horse”
– Ben Franklin

“Never praise your cider or your horse”
– Ben Franklin

“Now I have a sheep and a cow, everybody bids me good-morrow”
– Ben Franklin

“One good husband is worth two good wives for the scarcer things are, the more they’re valued.”
– Ben Franklin

“Many complain of their memory, few of their judgment”
– Ben Franklin

“You can bear your own faults and why not a fault in your wife ?”
– Ben Franklin

“There are more old drunkards than old doctors”
– Ben Franklin

“The tongue offends and the ears get the cuffing”
– Ben Franklin

“The poor have little – beggars none; the rich too much – enough, not one!”
– Ben Franklin

“The good or ill hap of a good or ill life, is the good or ill choice of a good or ill wife.”
– Ben Franklin

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