Yet More Humorous Sayings And Quotes

by allinspiration.com

“The golden age never was the present age”
– Ben Franklin

“Fish and visitors stink after three days”
– Ben Franklin

“God works wonders now and then; behold! a lawyer, an honest man.”
– Ben Franklin

“When man and woman die, as poets sung, his heart‘s the last part moves, her last, the tongue.”
– Ben Franklin

“There is no waste of time like making explanations”
– Benjamin Disraeli 

“He’s gone, and forgot nothing but to say farewell to his creditors”
– Benjamin Franklin

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music”
– Billy Wilder

“Defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies.”
– Canning

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone away”
– Cassandra Chatfield

“If “ifs” and “ands” were pots and pans, there’d be no work for tinkers’ hands”
– Charles Kingsley

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today.  It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
– Charles Schulz

“I have a new philosophy, I’m only going to dread one day at a time.”
– Charles Shulz

“Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult”
– Charlotte Whitton

“I have never killed a man but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
– Clarence Darrow

“Long tongue, short hands”
– Czech

“Never try to teach a pig to sing. It only frustrates you and really annoys the pig”
– Dale Cade

“If the baby is happy, don’t try to make it happier.”
– Dan Keeton

“Nepotism works, get on the right side of it”
– Dan Keeton

“The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind but how to get the old ones out.”
– Dee Hock

“Do what you think is right in your heart. You’ll be criticized anyway.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint”
– Erma Bombeck

“With the mouth, one can ford the wildest river.”
– Ethiopian 

“Only in America, if you fail as a person, you can always write a book”
– Ferg Stevens

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him”
– Forrest Tucker

“When you get at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on”
– Franklin Delano Roosevelt

“It is better to swallow words than to have to eat them later.”
– Franklin Roosevelt

“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.”
– Fred Allen

“Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese”
– G. K. Chesterton

“Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.”
– George Ade

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