Yet More Humorous Sayings And Quotes

by allinspiration.com

“The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I’ll walk carefully”
– Russian Proverb

“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving’s not for you.”
– S. Johns

“He is not only dull himself, but he is the cause of dullness in others”
– Samuel Johnson

“If a frog didn’t hop, he wouldn’t bump his butt”
– Sarah Isabelle Wendt

“Everyone has the right to be stupid but you’re abusing the privilege”
– Shiv Daddar

“People ask you for criticism but they only want praise.”
– Somerset Maugham

“I feel so miserable without you, its almost like having you here.”
– Stephan Bishop

“Being young is a fault that diminishes daily.”
– Swedish

“Credit cards are like mosquitoes. You can keep them away for a while, but sooner or later they will be back to suck your blood.”
– Ted Steckley

“I did not fall off the turnip truck just yesterday.”
– Terry Davis

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge”
– Thomas Brackett Reed

“The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away.”
– Tom Waits

“The sheik’s miracles are those of his own telling”
– Turkish

“He has delusions of adequacy”
– Walter Kerr

“He that drinks beer, thinks beer.”
– Washington Irving

“They who drink beer, think beer.”
– Washington Irving

“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else”
– Will Rogers

“There is nothing more stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in”
– Will Rogers 

“If you’re going to be dumb, you’ve got to be tough.”
– William Dempsey Wendt

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
– William Faulkner about Earnest Hemingway

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
– Winston Churchill

“Life is a big headache on a noisy street”
– Yiddish Proverb

“Dying while young is a boon in old age.”
– Yiddish Saying

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