The imminent departure of my two little dogs (continued)

Q & A by Bereavement Counselor Marty Tousley 

As you come to this difficult decision, it's important to think through whatever questions you may have about the actual procedure, so you can discuss your concerns with your veterinarian. When the time comes, you'll be better prepared to use your own good judgment based on the reality of your particular situation. 

Think about these questions, then arrange a time to discuss them with your veterinarian:

• How will the euthanasia be performed? (Usually the animal is injected with a tranquilizer, then an overdose of a sedative.)
• Where will the euthanasia be done? (Euthanasia can be done at the veterinarian's office, at an animal clinic or at your home. If your veterinarian doesn't provide at-home euthanasia, you can ask for a referral to one who does.)
• When will the euthanasia be done? (Try to schedule it at a time that's least traumatic for you, and when you can be accompanied by a friend or family member-- especially if driving is involved.)
• Should your pet be euthanized immediately, or should the procedure be delayed? (It all depends on the individuals involved. It may be easier to get it done while you are certain of the decision, since waiting for the inevitable may be difficult for you. Yet a planned delay can afford you and your pet some time to make the most of your final days together.)
• Should you be present during the procedure? (You know better than anyone what you feel capable of handling. You should be guided by what makes you feel comfortable and by what you think you can live with later. Some people consider being present as a final demonstration to the pet of their affection, and take comfort in knowing their pet is actually dead and at peace. Others prefer to remember their pet as s/he was, alive and active.)
• Will it matter to your pets if you are present? (Pets feel more secure in the company of people they know, and pets do not have the awareness of death or the anxiety before death that humans do. An owner's anxiety can be conveyed to both pet and veterinarian, but if the owner is calm, the pet will remain calm also.)
• What will you do with your pets' remains? (Be aware that you are responsible for arranging what will happen to your dogs' bodies after death. Many options are available, including disposal, cremation, burial and preservation. It would be wise to discuss these options in advance of either of your pet's death, either with your veterinarian or with a representative from a pet cemetery or pet crematory.)

Grief is a natural response to losing someone we love. It also is very hard work, and it shouldn't be done alone. I encourage you to find someone you can trust and with whom you feel comfortable talking about your feelings about all of this -- preferably someone who understands your attachment to your dogs and who knows something about normal grief. You do not need to wait until after the fact. Many people who come to my pet loss support group are dealing with anticipatory grief and come to the group before their animal's death or euthanasia. It helps them to sort through their reactions and make necessary decisions, and it helps them to feel supported in their journey. Ask your vet what pet loss resources might be available in your community, or check with your local librarian in addition to exploring online resources supporting you. 

I hope this information proves useful to you, my friend. Please know that I'm thinking of you, and when you feel ready to do so, I hope that you will let me know how you're doing. 




Wishing you Peace and Healing,
Marty Tousley, Bereavement Counselor

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A frequent contributor to healthcare journals, newsletters and magazines for the lay public, she has written several articles and book chapters in the professional nursing and medical literature, and has authored three books addressing various aspects of loss and grief. Her award-winning Internet Web site, www.GriefHealing.com offers information, comfort and support to anyone who is anticipating or mourning the loss of a loved one, whether human or animal.

Copyright © 2003, 2004 Marty Tousley. All rights reserved. If you wish to publish this article, please email contact@selfhealingexpressions.com